By Christopher White
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Within the yr 2098, humanity has driven past Earth into the sunlight process and unlocked the secrets and techniques of existence with genetic engineering. yet regardless of the lifesaving treatments and actual advancements wrought via the mastery over human DNA, a few ponder the tinkering with genes an abomination and vow to wreck it.
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Lists need to be made, equipment secured, and a mutually agreed-on plan of attack drawn up. We in the 'burbs never take the subway because, alas, we don't have one. And the buses appear as regularly as UFO sightings. Thus, the vital first element in today's mall expedition is securing the perfect parking spot. Malls, as we know, contain acres and acres of parking spots, none of which is available at Christmas time. The only spots are so far away that it's a two-day overland trek to get to the front door.
Woe to you if you have made J the hot-spot list, for the consequences can be dire. The evening traffic will clog your street, and every neighbour's driveway will turn into a parking lot as people get out to ooh and aah over the results of your creativity. I know of one house in Calgary that had so many visitors the police turned the streets into a series of one-way thoroughfares until after New Year's. The man's electricity bill was so outrageous he had to sell photographs of his illuminated house to help defray the costs.
My church has a baking table where marvellous butter tarts are on offer, but you have to S3 get there early, for they disappear in minutes. Your only other option is to have friends in high places. More than one package of my favourite confection has mysteriously made its way to the pulpit on a Sunday morning. The home knitting is second to none, and sweaters, mitts, and hats are popular items with the folks who crowd the tables. Lunch is available in a cafe area set up near the kitchen: homemade soups and sandwiches, all brought to your table.